Progress

Okay my lovely, maggoty companions, enough talk.
I would like to invite you all to critique my new opening paragraph.
By the end of this paragraph, a professional reader will have already formed a strong impression of my proposal; she will have an understanding of my style and tone, of my ability to immerse and hold a reader, and of my competence as a writer.
I have attempted to:
Set the scene;
Bond reader to Penpa;
Create first-stage 'big cat' image of Blinky;
Define the part of Penpa's character that will undergo the greater change;
Introduce tone by communicating my chapter keywords (excitement, danger, thrill, wonder, curiosity, naivety);
Introduce and allude to backstory;
Introduce relationship (dominant and passive switches) between Penpa and Blinky;
Introduce style;
Create anticipation.

Furthermore, I am endeavouring to conclude each paragraph with a mini cliffhanger.
Hope this works for you :o)
If it does not work for you, I will be indebted to you for the opportunity to make amends.
xox

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Penpa climbed from Blinky's back and bounded to the edge of the precipice, where the snow and the eidelweiss plummeted away into rock. She stood, concealed in the dark perfumed huddle of the needle trees and watched with them, surveying an ice-smoked valley.
'Keep still!' hushed Penpa.
Blinky stopped pawing at the dewy frost that always formed on his whiskers when they ventured beneath the clouds. Below, the valley glistened like a sea of orange fire. In the near distance, a crown of mountain peaks doused the valley with indigo shadows. Penpa had never before witnessed such a glorious sight; she had never been so far from home so close to sunfall. It was a terrible risk, but her curiosity was more persuasive than her responsibilities. Then she saw them: A caravan of obsidian shapes emerged from the shade and snaked about the rocks and snowbanks below. Penpa's cotton breaths panted into the cold as she raised the spyglass to her eye.