Love Me 4

I've been analyzing a number of films lately.
One of these was Monster, which charts the descent of a woman into serial killing.
It's fascinating to see this journey laid out into scenes. From memory, here's how the viewer is invited to empathize and even sympathize with a serial killer:

1) Dreams:
Aileen as a young girl, dreaming of fame and fortune. Yes, this serial killer was once a young girl, and she believed in a bright future just as you or I did. A young girl with hope; a young girl who desired a kind and happy future.
Her mother dashes these dreams with a firm hand.
Young Aileen retreats into a fantasy world.

2) A Good Time:
On the brink of suicide, the adult Aileen storms into a bar determined to spend her last five dollars (earned from prostitution) on beer. She is befriended by Selby, a young woman who has already been introduced as an unhappy loner (sat alone, desperate for company). Aileen has no money (a broke, suicidal, homeless prostitute - fits the underdog mould perfectly. Like Travis Bickle [Taxi Driver], Aileen has an awful job; Travis lived in a crummy apartment, Aileen is on the street.). Selby buys the beers and Aileen spends the night (innocently) in Selby's bed.

3) First Date:
Aileen and Selby go rollerskating. They kiss. Now they are both happy and have something to look forward to! (And, of course, they will be destroyed). They arrange to meet the following night to spend a night of passion together in a motel room.

4) Lady Luck Need A Ride? + 5) Stood Up:
Here we go. Aileen wants to pay for the room herself. All she knows is prostitution. A client drives her into the woods and rapes and beats her. Meanwhile, Selby is sat outside the rollerskating rink, all alone, waiting for her lover. Expectant.
Her life in mortal jeopardy, Aileen takes the client's gun and shoots him dead. She does this out of self-defence. She had no choice. She has killed.

6) I Quit Hookin + 7) All You Need Is Love:
Well, the money and car from the deceased client sure come in handy!
We learn about Aileen's past. She was ritually raped. Her father beat her for saying she was being raped. She became a hooker at thirteen. She became pregnant and gave the child away. Her family rejected her.
Tough life: young teenager all alone, no money, hated by family, badly treated.
These scenes are about money - survival. Aileen turned to prostitution not by choice but out of necessity. Having narrowly avoided death, Aileen decides to quit prostitution.
With Selby's arm in a cast, and her parents angry at her, she has no lifeline.
All they have is love. No money. And Selby is growing unhappy.
Aileen tries to find honest work. But fails - is insulted - and is forced to give a cop satisfaction to avoid a beating. People are bad.
Aileen does not want to lose the one thing that is important to her. She is emotionally driven.

8) Call Me Daddy:
So Aileen returns to prostitution.
Her next client is another weirdo. He wants to create a father-daughter thing.
Aileen sees him as detestable. That's how people are aren't they!
Nonetheless, she goes through mental torture as she makes the decision ...
She shoots him dead.
Kill them 'cos they're all bad = More money = Keep Selby.

9) I Love You:
And all of this murdering is fuelled by Selby's happiness.
Note that Aileen says 'I Love You' first.
Then Selby responds with the same line.
So the cycle is perpetuated. It ain't stopping anytime soon.

10) New Friends + 11) They're Coming For Us:
But Selby is getting claustrophobic in the relationship.
She borrows the car to go see some friends.
Aileen is furious. The car is stolen!
Aileen wants to protect Selby from the truth.
But now Selby is involved.
Aileen reveals the truth and convinces Selby that people are bad and can be killed for money. She still has her peace with the Lord after all.

NB. Somewhere around here, Aileen is with a client. She attempts to incite him into violent behaviour so that she might be justified in killing him. But he is a decent guy; he is nervous - this is first time. He's just lonely! Aileen does not kill him.

12) The Cop:
Thus far, the clients that have been murdered have been depicted as evil or twisted - the scum of humanity and unworthy of life.
This is all gonna change.
Would Aileen's moral code allow her to kill a man whose sin is cheating on his wife?
Yes.
And, on rummaging through his wallet, Aileen finds a cop badge.
So far, Aileen has gotten away with her crimes. After all, the people she has murdered would hardly warrant a widescale manhunt. But now a cop/ex-cop is dead.
The countdown begins. Tick, tock ...

13) You Don't Have To Do This:
Aileen's next client is a lovely man. He does not want anything from Aileen. Moreover, he offers her a room for the night; he offers her assistance.
He is on his knees, crying selflessly for his poor wife and pregnant daughter.
He is not bad. Aileen is torn. She cannot live in her fantasy world now.
She kills him. The line is crossed.

14) Alone:
Yet we still see her humanity. Aileen sends Selby away in order to protect her. Aileen has sacrificed her life of love for another.

15) Love Conquers All:
Captured, imprisoned, sentenced to death. In her final phone call to Selby, Aileen continues to protect her lover.
She killed for love. She died for love.

So we see a character who is emotionally driven.
We are invited to see the killer's pov: the people she encounters are corrupt and immoral; they are cops and clergy and shopkeepers and ordinary homemakers.
The people she bonds with are, like her, outcasts - lonely and kind and penniless.
We are cleverly coerced into taking sides - into bonding with an unfortunate - a loving, caring woman who would take her own life.
This side is good. This side is evil.
Okay, I'll join the good side.
Hah! Got you! You wait and see what your side is gonna do ..!

Asymmetry and Juxtaposition

There's something most peculiar about asymmetry. For some reason, I think the human brain prefers symmetry; I think we automagically symmetricize things.

A few years back, I ran a chapter by a critiquing group. I had described a girl who peels into two halves, front and back. The front half got one ear and so did the back half.

This caused confusion. How come they didn't get half a left ear and half a right ear each?

Well, I had simply skewed the angle very slightly. By doing this - by skewing the angle - I seemed to have created a conflict in the reader's head, a conflict that might sit well under the heading of 'unfamiliarity'.

I can see that asymmetry lives in the realm of imagination. A first level consciousness idea might always be symmetrical. Only by digging deeper - by pushing through comfort zones - might we create something that is asymmetrical. Indeed, my first thought was to share each ear between the half-sisters. But I went a step further. First level consciousness (or, possibly, stream of consciousness) is terribly superficial and, by its nature, uninspired.

How many depictions of a Cyclops have you seen? A Cyclops is a one-eyed giant. Only once have I seen a depiction of a Cyclops where the single eye is on one side of the face, as though there had been two eyes and one was removed. The typical (as in clichéd), first level consciousness Cyclops has its eye centred - symmetricized.

Watching Barbarella the other day, I was struck by the asymmetry of the world.

For example, compare Barbarella's ship (above left) with the Enterprise (above right).

We can see that asymmetry is prevalent in horror movies. Indeed, gore itself is terribly asymmetrical. When a character is disembowelled, all manner of indiscernable forms pour forth.

Asymmetry disturbs us or, at least, lends a peculiarity to a scene or character.

Juxtaposition has the same effect.

Here's a snippet from my recent short story:

It feels like hookworms snagging, tangling your veins, tingling then tearing, and your throat and lungs boil with bile and blood and your breath gargles into your ears.

I have developed a technique whereby I am writing a minimum of two layers (which, sigh, means twice as much work).

In this example, the narrative describes something visceral, something awful, painful, horrendous.

But check out all the devices of sound that I use! Clearly, the style is fun, playful, carefree.

As such, I create a juxtaposition between meaning and understanding.

Imagine how this might be applied to a lengthy narrative! I see it as a pair of wavelengths. If I tune them to one another, there is a feeling of familiarity (and, if this occurs during, say, a horrific moment, there is yet another juxtaposition), whereas if I move them out of synch, an unease is created.

In this way, the first wavelength is the meaning formed by the narrative; it forms a superficial understanding. The second wavelength hits at a deeper level, and is controlled largely by style. I can use sets of themed words that work in harmony or discord with the narrative. Similarly, I can play with the sounds and shapes of the words, and even with fragments of words or inferences (see Associations and Conditioning). I can apply this to rhythm, to flow, to pace ... to any element that I choose. Moreover, with this combination of duality and an appreciation of symmetry and asymmetry, harmony and discord, familiarity and unfamiliarity, I am able to hit the reader subliminally from the very first word and weave a power beneath the patina of the words.

Connections 2

Had a peculiar dream. The only bit I recall clearly was lying on the pavement looking up at a blue telephone box.
Hmmm ... had an interesting moment. The instant I wrote that, I looked up and saw my son's TARDIS.
Y'see, I was going to explain the dream portion off in another way:
First, I'll have to explain that, according to my dream theories, dreams are composited from occurences within the past 24 hours or so (yes, a pretty vague figure) or, possibly, from occurences between periods of sleep.
Now, as you may know, I spent a while hanging on the maggot tree yesterday trying to solve the colour index code (maybe a plotline in there?), mainly through trial and error.
According to my theories, the dream elements refer not simply to the event of the previous waking domain, but to something fundamental within that event.
So, my dream takes the colour coding for a reason, and the difficulty usually comes from discerning that reason - the essence beneath the surface.
What was apparent in my dream was that (English) telephone boxes are traditionally red, but this one railed against tradition. But any such thoughts within a dream are illusions and we need to go back to the source.
Looking at the time I spent cracking the colour code, what was I thinking or feeling?
These things perhaps: problem solving, matching one thing to another/maintaining a standard or theme (consistency), time frittered on a frivolity. Perhaps other things.
I also believe that the dominant component assigned to the source is the one referenced by the dream imagery. I'd guess at the frivolity theme; I think that I was aware that I should be devoting my holiday to something more constructive, perhaps tidying the house or, better still, working on one of my novels.
Lying on the floor: I was helping my son with a jigsaw yesterday evening. Aha, I can see the theme arising (and I believe that dreams contain a single theme)! To me, jigsaws are the most depressing of all games. I couldn't say why exactly, but I do recall a time when I was unemployed and someone had bought me a mahoosive jigsaw and I was sat there looking at the pieces and thinking 'What the f*ck am I doing with my life?' Jigsaws to me have become representative of wasted time, and dreams deal with representations. Indeed, Salvador Dalí was concerned with such dreamy representations where his soft watches were inspired by melted cheese on his bedside table and his crutches represented his fear of getting older, in particular the onslaught of impotence.

Yes, the 'wasting time/time running out' theme is prevalent here. Sure, there were other feelings knocking around as I lay on the floor with my son: I'm happy to spend time with him, to engage with him in mutual interests (or even interests that I don't really deep-down share). But these aren't the dominant themes; these aren't the representations utilised by my subconscious.

Telephone box: This is interesting. Today I am going to visit my Nan in hospital. I had to phone train-tracker first thing this morning for the train times. So, undoubtedly, as I fell into sleep, this 'do not forget!' was digging into some portion of my head. I hate to say it, but the dominant theme was probably 'that's gonna be several more hours that I should be spending working'. Me bad.
However, I can also see a sacrifice theme in amongst all that: the colour theme, the lying on the floor and the telephone refer to my giving time to others (whilst simultaneously feeling guilty about not working).
(NB. Let us not forget that we are not responsible for how we feel, but we are responsible for how we act upon those feelings.)

The purpose of dreams eludes me. My gut feeling is that they form some sort of resolution device such that concerns (and you can usually find a concern deep down in the motifs) are being dealt with in some form.
There is another theory that appeals which is that dreams are like garbage disposals: worries are chewed up and cast asunder. In this way, it is not a good thing to recall a dream because the concerns take root once again.

However, I find value in comparing dreams to writing.
A quick google search will reveal that the majority of philosophers have considered the notion of originality.
My bastardised take on it all is that originality is a unique combination of non-original ideas.
Indeed, Democritus suggested that everything in the universe would share the same foundations. He called these base units 'soul atoms' which were later poetically interpreted as star dust. Everything is made from star dust. But everything is a unique combination of star dust. (NB. In Sophie's World, Jostein Gaarder likened the soul atoms to LEGO bricks.)
Personally, I like Irving Maltzman's thoughts on originality.

Where am I going with this?
Well, the clue is in the title! One of my pet hates is what is referred to as the stream of consciousness. Hey, like anything, there are exceptions and I wouldn't dare to criticize the likes of James Joyce or Virginia Woolf. Moreover, in the hands of an expert, anything can become a useful tool.
But I am compelled to see beneath the surface - to understand how something works, what it is doing, and why it does that. Dreams show us that the subconscious can come up with some pretty cool things! But I don't want to have to sleep each time I'm stuck for an original idea. I want this power at my fingertips. Furthermore, my son'll be all grown up soon and I won't be able to rely on him for cracking ideas (although I have considered the idea of having a steady stream of children :o)
It isn't enough to write. Indeed, through my deconstructions, I have been able to feed the reader's subconscious with motifs and themes that are able to elicit strong emotional responses. I am able to provide the reader's mind with the right combination of elements for it to make the desired connections. Rather than give them 42, I'd give them three drawn-out 10's, and then a dozen 1's in quick succession. For example.
(NB. 42 written in binary is 101010 and is, I believe, Douglas Adams' comment about both balance and Christianity [given that the number six has biblical implications]. However, I can still smile at the Dan Brown character who observes that cryptographers find patterns where there are none!).

As writers, we control - we regulate - we coerce and create expectations.
As writers, we should understand the choices available to us, and how one choice might be a better fit than another.

That leaves me with the TARDIS which is a blue telephone box.
Dreams, like me, seek the best possible solution. My dream made multiple connections.
As suggested above, my dream needed a colour and it needed a telephone.
It sifted through the stuff in my head (and I believe that it sorts from last to first, dealing with most recent thoughts in the first instance, which is why very often the last few events of the day, notably cleaning teeth and undressing [in a representational form, remember: to most, teeth-cleaning prevents teeth falling out and teeth falling out represents the remorseless progression of time], make common reappearances) and it found something that represented and united two key themes - something that I would've unconsciously recorded prior to turning off the living room lights.
Dreams are brilliant. They make the most amazing and complicated connections and create, through these seemingly disparate images, something fundamentally cohesive and compelling.
And I'll have some of that!

The Maggot Tree

Hokey Cokey.
Seeds are planted and start to grow and you never know where it'll all end!
Welcome to The Maggot Tree!
This'll become something of a portfolio of work. There's a link over there - look, over on the right. Thus far, I've added my winning ss, and my new ss.
Being the techno-ingénue that I am (although I know how to type an acute accent! Ha!), I seem to wield only the most minimal of control over the creation of indents and leading and so forth. And I've no idea how to attach a file.
And I spent an hour trying to match the colours: you have about ten to choose from and if you want a different colour, you have to type in an index code! I worked out that the first two digits change hue and the third changes saturation. I think.
But these things can be overcome, deconstructed, mastered, and then bastardised. And, anyhoo, life is a giant work-in-progress.
Now, if only I can figure out how to add a picture to the heading up the top ...