Monday, 15 January 2007


The first 1000 words of my second draft of my short story are done.
The kinaesthetic descriptions appear to be working very well.
I'm pleased with this simile:
His wooden teeth chatter like mouse traps that fuck up.
Although the word 'chatter' is a little throwaway.
Here, I'm hitting the N400 with 'wooden teeth'. I've probably bastardized, or over-simplified, an interpretation of the N400, but I use it as unexpected peaks. So the reader is occasionally smacked with something that they did not expect. This is a good thing because it sustains interest. However, when over-used, it is a bad thing because the reader needs some security as they read. Typically, I allow myself what I imagine to be a rather high N400 content which, I suppose, is a part of my style which itself is modelled on the things I have read and loved, with the omission of things I have read and loathed.
The reader will amend their template of this character and add wooden teeth.
The teeth also show he is cold and/or scared, which is confirmed by context and by supplementary narrative.
I use the word 'trap' which fits into my theme set and works subliminally as subtext. Indeed, a trap is being set for the protag! (Events should ultimately be seen as inevitable such that the reader will be able to trace the events throughout the narrative and see that the conclusion was always going to happen. I find that subliminal impressioning is an extremely powerful and effective tool.)
I swear. Or, rather, my protag swears (first-person eleven-year-old girl).
Originally, the line was '... mouse traps that mess up.'
But, 600 words or so into the max. 1500 words, I figured that it was time to bring those subtexts into the veneer and the profanity, in context, provides another N400 and informs the reader that the tone is turning.
Shortly after this, having surmounted a violent peak, I go into humour.
I attempt to wring every ounce of meaning from every word. I take great pleasure in creating layers of information and blending those layers and swapping them around, lifting them to the surface and dragging them to the depths.

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