Tuesday, 19 February 2008

drop your trousers here for best results

I was sat with a work colleague on bus#2 this morning. He was recounting several stories about previous jobs, and concluded with the tale of his run in with a horrible manager.
My friend lamented:
I really wish I'd told him to shove his cock up his arse.
To which I sympathetically replied:
Isn't that every man's dream!

There then followed a pregnant pause (a beat) as we both mulled over the double meaning of my response, before bursting into laughter.
This has also given me a much stronger line for the scene in which MC1 has a run in with his own manager-from-Hell.

This is a super type of gag, and invariably requires every single word to be perfectly positioned in the sentence, and in the narrative.

Here are some classic newspaper headlines that contain double meanings (incongruities):

March Planned For Next August
Patient At Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

And more:

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Check out these hotel signs too, for such classics as:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

(N.B. The heading of this post was allegedly seen in a Bangkok Dry Cleaners.)

And, if you've never typed 'Engrish' into google, now's the time!

1 comment:

esruel said...

This made me laugh.
Reminded me of an awkward moment when a lady approached me at work and said "Would you like to look at these?" I burst out laughing in a totally reflex action. I couldn't help it. I never did get to look at the pile of papers she was holding, and no doubt I was branded a pervert after that.